In many counties in Oregon, you will be required to go to mediation to decide custody and parenting time issues. Mediation is one or more sessions in which a trained, neutral person (the mediator) tries to help you and your spouse reach an agreement about custody and parenting time of your children. You must first attend the orientation session to learn about the process of mediation, and you can go to orientation at a different time than your spouse.
After this orientation, and depending on what county you live in, the judge might order you to try to agree on a parenting plan through mediation. If your spouse has abused you in any way and you would rather not go through mediation, talk with the mediator. Mediators must take the family abuse into account when deciding whether and how to mediate a case.
The judge might also order a custody or parenting time study. This is an evaluation of the parents by a trained counselor or psychologist who will make his or her recommendations available to the judge. Very few counties offer a free evaluation. Usually, a custody or parenting time study is not ordered unless one or both parents can afford the cost.
Without mediation or a study, it is up to you and your spouse (or your attorneys if you have them) to settle on custody terms. If you cannot agree, the judge will decide.